Friday, February 8, 2008


An Olé is an accent added to the end of a word that takes the place of an exclamation point when fun takes precedence over imperativeness as the optimal idea to be stressed. If you’re afraid “Do it!” may come across as stricter than intended, Do it' may better communicate the gusto and encouragement you seek to bestow. But be aware, the Olé changes the pronunciation of the word as well; in this case, doo eet. A useful tool in recipes, it strikes the zestful balance between bland and intimidating: castor oil, castor oil', castor oil! or borscht, borscht', borscht! As an enemy of the mundane: laundry, laundry', laundry! Or brush my teeth, brush my teethes', or brush my teeth! Or for compounding force as a combination, try: shopping, shopping', shopping!

-- Chris Leo

Ovation needs more aviation and less uovation, though I do believe the situation is hopeless. If an innovation is something new, then the word used to describe something opposing new shouldn't itself be new, should it? No, we should pick one out of antiquity trash for that. For a minute, "ininnovation" was tossed about to describe something newly created that serves to fight evolution, not foster it. Once the masochists and disciples got a hold of the idea though, the clunky word mutated to a slipperier "sinnovation", but that sounds like a seductive whisper from a commercial selling indulgent lingerie laced chocolate liqueur or effervescent bath salts, not actually a tool of entropy. The incredible thing is, it was this same said divine providence that created "sinnovation" that then destroyed it, paving way for the correct old word to assume the spot! Listen, if Jesus really saves, why can't he write a good song? I'll tell you why -- because his children play Ovation guitars. The guitar can't be cleaned up. It's been dirty forever. It's been dirty since the Moors. It's been dirty since someone decided to call its ancestor a liar or a lyre or however we deem the proper way to translate Greek into English is. The point is, there is no place for a guitar in church -- not even if it's a new creation with a curved plastic shell and multiple mini soundholes by a company called Ovation. Therefore, we shall use an old word to descibe this new thing that's only bringing us backwards. Ovation. When I began to compile my list of other examples of ovations to clarify matters for you, I was interupted by a punk who claimed "all things are ovations, tool" and as hard as I tried to get back on track, my arguments were lost.

Innovation - inn = something to sit and disovate frantically for

-- Chris Leo

Overneath can be a small error like climbing into bed above the sheets but under the blankets, a mild sensation experienced when you’ve been scuba diving for too long and lose a sense of up, the itchy separation of skin from the body after a severe sunburn, or one wild wild ride when, no matter what words you string together, everything seems to fit. “I…am…whelming…from…overstanding...need…to…get…neath.”

-- Chris Leo

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