Friday, February 8, 2008


A Kaaboob is the catastrophic combination of an antonym and a synonym to split an atom. Don’t do it. For example, if someone who is half North American and half South American therefore thinks it fair to call themselves simply an “American” our system does not compute and we twitch and sizzle asking the same question again and again until supplied a new answer. Arabbi, "Arab" + "rabbi" = a super exponentialed "arrabiato" ("angry" in Italian), might be the most combustable kaaboob. Another both excellent and terrible (more terrible than excellent) example is a holmo, which being the unstable element of three words in one, destructs the mind that attempts to define. An eponym from the reputably Rasputinesque ultrahetero John Holmes combined with “homosexual” and the neutral “hole”, the idea is that no matter how gay this guy may be, he needs a woman in his bed because he can’t fit in the other end, i.e. “Call me crazy, but I think Maurice is eyeing Laura more than me! You think he’s really packing like a holmo?” The instability of this element is so volatile it threatens to strike River Plates down with every passing second, pulverizing this dictionary back into the dust from whence it came.

Kaaba (the cube inside the Great Mosque of Mecca) + boob = Kaboom!

-- Anonymous

Klandestine little American burgs out in the sticks are destined to be crawling with the Klan through aid of the clandestine land. “Clann” was the Gaelic word for “plants”, of which these people still live amongst though they eat none of because "plants are for fayags". In the Middle Ages it was common practice for Christians to sign an “X” next to their name as a symbol of the Cross. In response chutzpahtic Jews often drew a circle next to theirs. From the Greek “Kyklos” for “circle” we get both the derisive “kike” for the circular inscription next to a Jewish signature and “Kuklux” for the clan that burns their beloved crosses down to a circle of embers on the ground.

-- Chris Leo

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